It's true...my kid doesn't obey. She doesn't pick up her toys or set the table or get dressed if I tell her to. The thing is, she doesn't like being told what to do. But then, neither do I. In fact, there are times when I'm not sure I could do what someone tells me to do even if I wanted to. Can anyone relate?! What can I say...I grew up in a household where you obeyed "or else...!"
So, my kid isn't obedient. But she is one hell of a collaborator! See, she wants to be invited to pick up her toys, set the table or get dressed. She also wants to be a part of the planning and decision making process - which means these things happen with a sense of rhythm, rather than on demand. She wants her ideas and opinions to be heard and understood for their unique value. And truly, she has some ideas that have a value all their own...priceless and exquisite...especially when it comes to the rhythm of picking up! LOL
And really, don't we all want to be heard? To be invited into the planning and decision making? To feel our opinions are valued and valid? Don't we all want to feel a sense of belonging in our families, at work, and among friends? To feel that what we think and what we contribute has some significance?